Each of us can recall a situation in which he felt depressed after talking with a certain person. Such people are called passive-aggressive. Not expressing aggression directly, they get to get us veiled. Our task is to learn how to defend ourselves.
Picaster is in a hurry to share with you effective steps, thanks to which any passive aggressor will be useless.
Step 1. Visual contact
Look confidently in the eyes of the interlocutor. We make it clear without words that we have figured out his intentions. A passive-aggressive person will not go to direct confrontation, and often just an open mind will help avoid an unpleasant dialogue for us.
Sometimes we can misunderstand the intentions of a person, and instead of aggravating the situation, we will simply give him a chance to improve, openly answering his questions.
Step 2. “Warning shot”
The manipulator will ask the question exactly the way it is beneficial to him personally. He wants that any response was not in our favor. Our task is to prevent the interlocutor from doing this.
Paraphrasing the question as convenient for us, and responding to it, rather than to the original version, we easily protect ourselves from this manipulation. For example: “I do not understand what this has to do with, but …”
Step 3. “Opening cards”
We politely say that we want to end the dialogue on this topic. It is acceptable to point out the changed behavior of the opponent, because he feels that we do not react in the way he would like: “I see that you are nervous, let’s not talk about it.”
It’s interesting to observe the person. He is worried. There are simple signs of this:
- He shies away from a direct look.
- The hands are shaky.
- Can not sit still.
- Can pull something in his hands.
Step 4. “Backlash”
When we took all the steps, we behaved openly and politely, but the person does not calm down, we use the technique “Backlash”.
We ask the question: “What’s going on here?” – and we are waiting for an answer. It is important to look at the person directly in the face. If he continues to behave passively-aggressively, then we take the last step.
Step 5. Polite leaving
We do not have to listen the things that we do not like. Even if he does not look aggressive, this person is trying to hurt us. It’s best to say goodbye and leave the dialogue.
If this is not entirely correct (conversation with the boss), then you can think of some plausible pretext. The main thing is to remember that you should not take the situation personally.